I Was Negged by a Slug

negged-by-a-slug-2Composite photo: Original slug image by Brian Gratwicke, Original woman image by Jack Versloot

Michelle sighed and put down her book Forbidden Love. A buzzer went off signaling the end of her break. It was time to clean shit out of the cages again. She leaned forward in the hard plastic chair, making it hit the ground with a clack. She grunted as she stood up and flailed her hands in the air. “I can’t take this anymore!”

Steve chuckled behind her. “You are such a drama queen. It’s your turn to clean the cages in Sector 4.” Steve tossed her the keys. She put on her thick black-rimmed glasses, tied her black hair into a ponytail and covered it with a tan cap. She trudged to Sector 4 in her oversized tan jumpsuit, dragging her feet.

Michelle entered the cage of the Mitojutiforricous, a giant blue space-slug. Its feces was mixed into the slime trail it secreted. She grabbed the mop from the back of the cage. She turned around to see a father and child staring from behind the glass.

“Daddy, look at that stupid lady, cleaning up poo poo.”

“That’s what happens when you don’t go to college,” said the dad.

“Hey! These walls aren’t sound-proof, jerk wads!” said Michelle.

The boy and his dad pointed and laughed before walking away.

Michelle cupped her hands around her mouth. “And I did go to college!”

“I have a master’s degree in Extraterrestrial Zoology!” she added.

Next up was Elapheticosherousis, a spider-like creature with a trunk and three human-like eyes. It was as big and as annoyingly affectionate as a Golden Retriever. She walked to the back of the cage and grabbed the vacuum to clean up the fecal dust piles. They smelled like burnt plastic mixed with onion breath. The Elapheticosherousis skittered over to Michelle.

“Back! Back!” said Michelle, thrusting the vacuum in its face.

The creature turned around and farted a huge cloud of dust into her face.

Michelle stood straight up, her fists clenched, her glasses covered in dust. She tossed the vacuum aside and stormed out.

Finally, the Georlficuhuccus — it was a humanoid-like creature with neon fur that constantly made a high pitched sound like metal rubbing together. Michelle walked around the cage and heaved its heavy bricks of waste into a bin. Her face was covered in sweat from the workout.

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Michelle squeezed into her 150 square foot pod-apartment and threw her keycard on the table that folded out of the wall. She wiggled out of her jumpsuit and stepped into the shower. The nozzles surrounding her squirted out blue gel that turned into warm foam, tingling every part of her body. She let out a long high pitched sigh as she spread the foam around her slick curves. She raised her arms and the dryer turned on, blowing it all away.

She put on her fluffy robe and slippers, made a cup of U-Relax tea, and got out her book Forbidden Love. On the cover was a strapping buff humanoid alien with four arms and light blue skin. Three of his arms were wrapped around a beautiful human woman wearing a transparent silk dress, and the fourth arm was stroking her hair.

If only I could experience that kind of passion, she thought to herself as she thumbed through the plastic pages, What those four hands could do…

She fell asleep with her slippered foot up on the table and her book open on her chest.

The wall-screen turned on to wake her. It was 7am.

“Another sunny day!” said the TV personality on the wall-screen. His face was shiny, his cheeks were rosy and his hair stood straight up. “Make sure to wear your protective sun screen, sunglasses, and don’t forget your sun shield.”

In the corner of the screen was a little pink envelope with the number one on it. Michelle made her hand into a gun and pointed at it. “Pow.”

The envelope enlarged to fill the screen and the giant image of her mother’s face materialized.

“Michelle, you never call back. Your father needs help cleaning the garage this weekend. If you could just do this one thing for us. We put you through school, didn’t we?”

“Shut up, mom! I clean up shit all day long! I don’t want to do it for you on my day off!” Michelle said, gesticulating wildly.

The envelope folded up and zoomed off. The word “Sent” appeared and Michelle covered her mouth, her cheeks red.

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“We have new food for the animals today,” said Steve.

He handed Michelle a large box that said “Brain Food — It’s good for the brain.”

“Brain food?” she asked.

“Yes, it’s good for their brains.”

“But they’re dumb as hemorrhoids.”

“Yes, we’re hoping it will help with training. We want them to do tricks.”

Steve pointed to the bottom of the box. It read “Also helps with training!”

Whatever.

Michelle entered the cage of the Mitojutiforricous. She poured the new food into the bowl. The Mitojutiforricous squirmed over to the bowl and eagerly lapped up the food. The creature looked up from the bowl and gazed into Michelle’s eyes. She locked eyes with the thing, briefly getting lost its onyx stones.

Days passed, each slower than the last.

Michelle entered the cage of the Mitojutiforricous. She heard a voice in her head.

You know you’d look cute if you had bangs and ditched the glasses.

She looked around the cage, and spotted the Mitojutiforricous. It was staring right at her.

“As if!” she said and stormed out of the cage.

She went home but couldn’t stop thinking about what the Mitojutiforricous said. Glasses! Bangs! What a jerk. She tried to read Forbidden Love but she couldn’t get it out of her head.

The next day the Mitojutiforricous communicated with her once again.

I’m sorry baby, I didn’t mean it.

The creature approached her and swept up against her leg. Michelle froze and twisted her face in disgust, but the slug-like creature was warm and left a pleasant tickling sensation behind. She relaxed her face and closed her eyes, savoring the feeling. It had a been a long time since she’d been touched.

That night Michelle stumbled into her pod-apartment. She skipped her shower and went straight into her jammies and into Forbidden Love. It was a real juicy scene. She reached her hand into the elastic waistband and then… Ew! A giant blue slug! Why the hell did the Mitojutiforricous pop into her head? She shivered and went straight to bed.

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“It’s time to start training the animals to do tricks,” said Steve handing Michelle a whip.

Michelle reached out for it. “Isn’t this inhumane?”

“Not really,” said Steve, “I want you to start with the Mitojutiforricous. Make it dance.”

Michelle strolled to Sector 4, patting the folded whip against her palm. She opened the cage door.

What are you going to do with that whip, Michelle?

“I’m going to make you dance, bitch.”

Michelle cracked the whip at the creature.

Oh yeah, I love it.

She whipped even harder. The Mitojutiforricous wiggled about, lashing its tail back and forth.

“You like that? You like that? Take my whip. Take it!” said Michelle between primal grunts.

She heard a gasp from the other side of the glass. A man and his son were standing with their mouths open, watching the scene. Michelle stood up straight and rushed out of the cage.

Don’t leave me, baby.

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Michelle entered the cage of the Mitojutiforricous once again. The beast had drawn a heart in its slime trail.

“Ah, you shouldn’t have,” said Michelle, hesitating to mop it up.

I’ve never felt this way before, Michelle. I’d never felt anything before you.

“I feel something too,” said Michelle.

When can we be together?

“Soon,” she said, “Soon.”

slug-cut-out

“So what kind of cut would you like, honey?” asked the hairdresser.

“Bangs. Give me bangs,” said Michelle.

Michelle returned to the zoo late that night, long past closing. She entered the cage of the Mitojutiforricous. The creature was sleeping, letting out puffs of air from its back. She walked up to it, kneeled down and rubbed its head. The Mitojutiforricous opened its eyes.

You came, and your hair. It looks beautiful. Are you wearing contact lenses?

Michelle stuck out her tongue. The beast unleashed its long thin tongue, flailed it aimlessly, and splattered slime all over her face. Michelle moaned.

She heard a tap on the glass. Michelle looked over to see the night janitor grinning.

“Please don’t tell anyone about this,” she said through the glass.

The janitor gave her a thumbs up.

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The next night Michelle entered the cage. She unzipped her jumpsuit to reveal her naked body.

“Make love to me, Mitojutiforricous. Make me feel like a woman.”

She laid down on the cold floor causing her nipples to harden and poke out. The Mitojutiforricous glided towards her until it covered her entire body, letting its sex hormones flow out. Its tail curled around her hips.

Michelle looked to the window to see the janitor watching. She closed her eyes and turned back to her love making. She stroked the Mitojutiforricous up and down its body and let its gelatinous skin engulf her. They made love all night.

She woke up with a smile, curled up next to the beast. She opened her eyes to Steve recording her with a video camera.

“Wow, you’re definitely fired.”

slug-cut-out

Michelle arrived home, her wall-screen was on and it showed 122 unread messages. The headline at the top of the screen read “Woman has sex with giant blue slug. Disgusting!” She grabbed her copy of Forbidden Love and threw it in the trash.

3 thoughts on “I Was Negged by a Slug

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